Wedded to Whatsapp

Respected Sir/Madam,

Why did I move from my trusted Nokia phone to a smartphone ? Simple. Only one reason. Whatsapp ! I moved into Whatsapp without thinking. Can I move out of it? I have to think a lot. It is like asking me, to shift away from filter coffee to some Ragi drink only because it is healthy.

The Bhoothalingam household also has got caught in the storm over Whatsapp. I would have ignored it, but, my friends and more importantly Mangalam also is asking me to move out of Whatsapp.

This is the conversation I had yesterday with Mangalam on our dining table..Very calm and peaceful talk, like two mature adults are talking, just for a change.

MB: Old man, have you seen the new privacy policy pop-up of Whatsapp?

JB: Yes. I saw.., like all such terms and conditions, where they don’t ask for any money, I have pressed "Yes" without reading.

MB: Do you realise what you have agreed? Already, what you and I discuss, you tom-tom it to the whole of India through letters to Hindu.. Now, the whole world will know what we talk through Facebook and Instagram.

JB: What privacy? Do you think anyone is interested what an old couple is talking about in one corner of Chennai..Even if they did it, to sell you something, is it easy for anyone to take money out of you?

MB: No arguments here. All my friends have decided to move out of Whatsapp.

JB: I don’t know what this hullabaloo is. My friends are also moving out. They are all moving to Telegram.

MB: One of my friends suggested Telegram. But another friend said Telegram is for teenagers only. Apparently, they join Telegram to get the notes from their coaching classes but actually use it for downloading all kinds of pirated and adult movies.

JB: Ah! that is the reason my friend Nair already is in Telegram! Our friends group has already decided to move to Telegram.

MB: Our group has decided to go for Signal. It seems Elon Musk has recommended it.

JB: If a rich man, sorry dude, recommends, all you women will fall for it. So you go for Signal. I will go for Telegram

MB: But what about us.. If I have to send you a grocery list or some urgent message, how do I communicate with you ?

JB: You install Signal for your friends and I will download Telegram for my friends groups. Let us be in Whatsapp also. Fine!

MB: Old man ! Are you senile? The whole thing started with moving out of Whatsapp..When are you removing Whatsapp from your phone?

JB: I will take the backups of all my Letters to Hindu and also such nice comments from my readers that I have saved in Whatsapp. Then I will remove it. Promise. By midnight tonight.

MB : But if i am in Signal and you are in Telegram, how do we communicate ?

JB: Maybe, only for the two of us, we should download one new Made in india app that people are talking about.. . In fact it is a Made-in-Tamil Nadu app. It is called Arattai.

MB: Is there an app called Arattai? Perfect, Arattai is all we do, day in and day out. ! So it is decided. My job is to remove Whatsapp tonight and download Signal and Arattai. You also remove Whatsapp and download Arattai by tonight.

JB: Sure. First, I have to download Telegram.

So all this happened yesterday. All sounds perfect, like some major peace accord. Isn’t it!

Do you know what happened this morning? My son, Jan, oblivious to our yesterday’s discussion, made a video call from USA in our family Whatsapp group. I let the phone ring a few times and then hesitantly picked up the call. Mangalam was already there in the call. We both smiled awkwardly.

Yours in confusion,

J.Bhoothalingam

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