Respected Sir/ Madam,

Last week was the Pongal week. After a long time, I even got an invitation for a get-together. A former colleague, said he was inviting a few friends over, for a small get-together with social distancing and all. I told him former colleagues can never be friends. Colleagues can only be “frenemies”- sometimes friends, sometimes enemies. Anyway, for old-times sake, I attended the get-together.

The get-together was as expected. Loud and noisy. Everyone had their own lockdown story to narrate. Retired people like to hear their own voice, you know. One colleague, let us call him Dr Gyanam (not his real name) who retired many years before me, seemed to have been only reading books during this lockdown. He was eager to give his views on all the books he read during these 9 months.

Dr Gyanam's focus clearly was on a lady former colleague. The boyish urge to impress a girl, does not seem to diminish even when the boy becomes a man and is now 80 years old. The lady did seem to be listening, though, I am not sure if it was out of respect or a genuine interest. I was not listening at all. I was only wondering if the host had arranged some food for a hungry vegetarian.

Hoping to redirect the conversation, I butted in and said “Budget is round the corner, hope Nirmala amma has something good for us middle class”.. That’s it, the conversation went totally tangential.

Here is an excerpt of the conversation I had with Dr Gyanam (DrG)..

DrG: Who is Middle-class here?

JB: I thought we all are.. Maybe some of us here have become rich because of wise investments or children sending in lots of dollars... I am certainly, middle-class

DrG: Without even asking you, your bank balance or income, I can prove that no one here is middle-class by Indian standards.

JB: I don’t believe it. Tell me how.

DrG: Who do you think are the rich?

JB: To me those moving about in luxury cars, having foreign holidays every year, those with bungalows in Poes Garden, they are the rich.

DrG: They are surely rich. They are rich not only by Indian standards, they are rich even by world standards. They will be in Top 1 % of the world. OK, tell me who do you think are poor?

JB: Hmmm.. My watchman, my maid.

DrG: They may be poor by Chennai standards. But they are not poor by Indian standards. They will be in the top 40% of India. They are middle-class by Indian standards. OK JB, I am sure you do have a car?

JB: Yes, a 10 year old one.Just a Maruti hatchback.

DrG: That makes you someone who is in the top 1%. In fact, even among the top 1 %, only 60% have their own cars, according to a survey.

JB: Even in my own housing society parking lot, I feel so poor. Just the other day, the boy who washes my car told me, “ Ayya, it is time to change your car”. Here you are telling me, I am super-rich.

DrG: You are not unique JB.. A survey says that 95% of the top 1% in India think that they are middle-class, when in fact they are super-rich.

Then the host announced dinner and the conversation moved to food and more interesting things. Yet what Dr G said, left me perplexed. Dr Gyanam's argument was threatening my lifelong belief and identity of being “middle-class”. He was labelling me ‘privileged’, without the privileges. I cannot stop asking for some free pachcha milaga and karuveppalai from the vegetable vendor because some mannangkatti survey says I am not middle-class.

Yours in irritation,

J.Bhoothalingam.