Respected Sir/Madam,

My last few days have been total kalakkal. My head is getting heated up so much with all the thinking that you can make a Dosa on it.

Like all problems, it was self-created. I wanted to show some smartness and asked Mangalam what she wanted for her birthday. This birthday is a special one because she turns 60 this April.

I thought maybe she would want some special gifts or maybe she wants to have a birthday party, now that things are becoming normal after Corona.

What she replied surprised me and is the source of my current turmoil.

Here is the brief of the conversation I had with Mangalam , three days back.

MB : I heard in a YouTube video that "Experiences make better gifts than things". I thought about it and I think for my 60th birthday I need experience as a gift.

JB : So you don't need anything?.

MB : I will accept my usual saree and jewellery as gift. But I want "experience" also.

JB: What experiences? I heard that word only in job interviews.

MB: I want the experience of being a 'YouTuber' ..I want my own YouTube channel. That is the gift I want.

JB: It is not just dressing up and facing the camera. It is hardwork, my dear.

MB: Many of my friends have told me I am smart and presentable. Not that it matters on YouTube. All I need from you is ideas on what I could show in my channel.

JB : So all this has been cooking for quite a while. Why not like Subbu's Kitchen and Hebbar's Kitchen, you can have your Mangalam's Kitchen.

MB: Mangalam’s Kitchen. Have you seen my kitchen. So small and old fashioned. Can you revamp the kitchen in two months? No.

JB: Maybe you can tell all your 'kadi' jokes and do some standup comedy?

MB : No doubts about my comedy..With my arthritic knee, I don’t think I can stand long. Mudiyadu.

JB: Then maybe you can do some 'Karaoke' singing.

MB: I do not want to join the long list of YouTubers who are murdering P Susheela and S Janaki songs when they are still alive. I can't even sing Hindi songs, Lata and Asha are also alive. Bad idea.

JB: Maybe with your Ladies Club friends you can do some hyperlocal news on YouTube like Mambalam Times or Anna Nagar times.

MB : Not a bad idea. But how many times can we show chain snatching incidents, pot-holes in X road and garbage not cleared by corporation videos. Occasionally, we can cover some fancy dress competition in school or annual day of Laughter club. Sumar idea only.

JB : I think you will surely like this idea. See many popular YouTube channels do reviews of new items being launched. 'Unboxing' new items is a popular theme. I heard one podi payal Ryan makes millions of dollars on YouTube reviewing new toys.

You can also unbox all those fancy household items that those over-enthusiastic salesgirls promote on TV in Naaptol and Homeshopping networks. It will also be a good service for some poor people in small towns who get cheated regularly.

MB: We will have to buy so many items for every show.

JB: They have a 30 day returns policy. We can unbox, do the show and return them.

MB: No no...won't work for us. Sorry.

JB: I am only suggesting all the ideas. What about you?

MB: If you were some celebrity like a film star or a cricket player, I could have done some gossip like Twinkle Khanna or Prithi Ashwin in my YouTube channel. Your life is even more boring than mine. I have already thought of my channel name. Mangalam@60. You better come up with something soon.

When I decided to hang my boots at 60, Mangalam wants to wear roller skates at 60. She is not leaving me at peace also.

Yours in exasperation,

J.Bhoothalingam